Bird of Paradise Article
Bird of Paradise by Carmin Wharton
A dear friend encouraged me to check out a special on the Discovery Channel Sunday evening. This special documentary was 5 years in the making and showed footage of nature and animals which had never been filmed.
One segment in particular caught my attention. As you know in the bird kingdom, male birds' feathers are usually more colorful than the feathers of the female. Well, the Bird of Paradise is no exception. This little guy was really handsome. However, it was not his beautiful color which intrigued me the most. What intrigued me more than anything else about this bird was what he was doing when the segment featuring him started. This bird began tidying up his living space - moving twigs, scraping the ground with his little feet, etc. Know why? He was preparing to dance for the female Bird of Paradise which was the object of his affection—his desire.
Well, after he got his little area all cleaned up, he began to whistle to get her attention. She hesitantly eased over to his crib (house) and he began to fan out his beautifully colored feathers and dance and whistle. I mean this little guy "cut a rug" (as the old folks used to say). The female bird just looked at him seemingly disinterested. From a distance, she cast a wary eye in his direction never getting too close or walking too far into his home—she stayed near the “front door.” After a few seconds, the female Bird of Paradise turned her back and walked off. She was simply not interested. For whatever reason, she was not impressed. Maybe this little fellow wasn’t her type. I mean, he was cute as a button to me but, then again, I’m not a Bird of Paradise. Maybe by female Bird of Paradise standards, he wasn’t cute. Perhaps he couldn’t dance. Could it be she wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship? Unfortunately, the observer who filmed this scene was not able to secure an interview with Lady Bird of Paradise because before long, she cast one last wary look over her shoulder, turned on her heels and flew away.
The male Bird of Paradise was crushed and just stood there – dejected and confused.
Lessons Learned: First, know what you're looking for in a man before you petition God for one. Second, a man is supposed to impress you. He is supposed to clean up when he invites you over and he's supposed to strut his stuff for you; he should go out of his way to impress you. If he doesn't, it's because he doesn't think you are worth it or he is not interested in you. Third, you are not supposed to go looking for him; he's supposed to look for you! Remember the male Bird of Paradise whistled out in to the forest to get the female’s attention. Fourth, if he isn’t the one—don't try to fool yourself into thinking he is the one just because right now, you are not in a relationship.
Sisters, experience (what a wonderful teacher experience is) has taught me that it is infinitely better to not be involved in a romantic relationship than to be involved in a relationship with the wrong man.
You are God's female human Bird of Paradise! Act like it.
Please feel free to use this article in your newsletter, e-zine or blog. However, the byline below must be included in its entirety.
About Carmin Wharton
Carmin Wharton is a relationship coach, professional speaker, entrepreneur, and the author ofLessons Learned: While Looking for Love in All the Wrong Faces; a book which focuses on the pitfalls many women encounter while seeking a loving romantic relationship. Carmin uses personal, gritty, and sometimes heart-wrenching accounts of her relationships with men to show that each relationship teaches us a valuable life lesson. She is also the Founder ofe-BlackWomenNetwork.com; an online networking community for women of color.
A dear friend encouraged me to check out a special on the Discovery Channel Sunday evening. This special documentary was 5 years in the making and showed footage of nature and animals which had never been filmed.
One segment in particular caught my attention. As you know in the bird kingdom, male birds' feathers are usually more colorful than the feathers of the female. Well, the Bird of Paradise is no exception. This little guy was really handsome. However, it was not his beautiful color which intrigued me the most. What intrigued me more than anything else about this bird was what he was doing when the segment featuring him started. This bird began tidying up his living space - moving twigs, scraping the ground with his little feet, etc. Know why? He was preparing to dance for the female Bird of Paradise which was the object of his affection—his desire.
Well, after he got his little area all cleaned up, he began to whistle to get her attention. She hesitantly eased over to his crib (house) and he began to fan out his beautifully colored feathers and dance and whistle. I mean this little guy "cut a rug" (as the old folks used to say). The female bird just looked at him seemingly disinterested. From a distance, she cast a wary eye in his direction never getting too close or walking too far into his home—she stayed near the “front door.” After a few seconds, the female Bird of Paradise turned her back and walked off. She was simply not interested. For whatever reason, she was not impressed. Maybe this little fellow wasn’t her type. I mean, he was cute as a button to me but, then again, I’m not a Bird of Paradise. Maybe by female Bird of Paradise standards, he wasn’t cute. Perhaps he couldn’t dance. Could it be she wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship? Unfortunately, the observer who filmed this scene was not able to secure an interview with Lady Bird of Paradise because before long, she cast one last wary look over her shoulder, turned on her heels and flew away.
The male Bird of Paradise was crushed and just stood there – dejected and confused.
Lessons Learned: First, know what you're looking for in a man before you petition God for one. Second, a man is supposed to impress you. He is supposed to clean up when he invites you over and he's supposed to strut his stuff for you; he should go out of his way to impress you. If he doesn't, it's because he doesn't think you are worth it or he is not interested in you. Third, you are not supposed to go looking for him; he's supposed to look for you! Remember the male Bird of Paradise whistled out in to the forest to get the female’s attention. Fourth, if he isn’t the one—don't try to fool yourself into thinking he is the one just because right now, you are not in a relationship.
Sisters, experience (what a wonderful teacher experience is) has taught me that it is infinitely better to not be involved in a romantic relationship than to be involved in a relationship with the wrong man.
You are God's female human Bird of Paradise! Act like it.
Please feel free to use this article in your newsletter, e-zine or blog. However, the byline below must be included in its entirety.
About Carmin Wharton
Carmin Wharton is a relationship coach, professional speaker, entrepreneur, and the author ofLessons Learned: While Looking for Love in All the Wrong Faces; a book which focuses on the pitfalls many women encounter while seeking a loving romantic relationship. Carmin uses personal, gritty, and sometimes heart-wrenching accounts of her relationships with men to show that each relationship teaches us a valuable life lesson. She is also the Founder ofe-BlackWomenNetwork.com; an online networking community for women of color.
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